thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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