I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
