Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
