Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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