I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
