Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
