I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
id be glad to
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
