i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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