He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
