Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
