you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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