Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
