I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
