I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
