i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
