Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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