sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Bring me that man meat
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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