So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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