dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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