he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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