Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
They are going to name an STD after you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
