There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
