i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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