dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
