she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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