Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
