When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
