belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
