You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
