Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
