tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He did a backflip because drugs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize