dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
