What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
