If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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