My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
