It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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