I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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