You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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