Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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