My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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