Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
