I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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