It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
