I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
