She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
