My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
