Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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