In the future we'll all be gay
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
