my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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