i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
